5 Ways to Stop Dismissing Others’ Struggles

There’s a particular kind of cruelty that hides behind the polished rhetoric of self-reliance. It shows up in the way some people speak about struggle—as if hardship were simply a failure of effort, or pain a sign of weak character. It’s the tone of those who believe they’ve mastered life through sheer willpower and can’t fathom why others haven’t done the same.

Beneath that certainty is a quiet contempt for complexity, and a refusal to see how circumstance, wiring, and history shape what each of us is capable of carrying.

In caregiving—and in life more broadly—we see this every day: people applying easy solutions to deeply nuanced experiences. But life isn’t simple. It’s layered, messy, and textured with both visible and invisible challenges. Here are five ways to resist the urge to dismiss someone else’s struggle, and instead respond with empathy.

Listen Without Judgment

It’s tempting to offer advice, anecdotes, or a quick fix. Resist that impulse. Listening fully—without immediately assessing effort, choice, or “responsibility”—is one of the most radical acts of compassion.

Recognize the Complexity of Life

No two people start from the same place. Trauma, upbringing, health, and privilege all shape how we cope with challenges. Remembering that life isn’t black and white helps prevent oversimplified assumptions about others’ journeys.

Resist Platitudes

Phrases meant to inspire—“just try harder,” “everyone has the same 24 hours,” or “you’ll get over it”—often erase lived experience. Replace platitudes with curiosity: ask questions, seek understanding, and validate what you hear.

Validate Pain Without Fixing It

Empathy doesn’t require solutions. Sometimes the most important response is acknowledgment: “That sounds incredibly hard” or “I see how much you’re carrying.” Validation alone can be profoundly healing.

Reflect on Your Own Assumptions

Ask yourself why it feels urgent to correct someone else’s feelings or pace of healing. Often, discomfort with others’ struggles reflects unexamined beliefs about control, success, or “doing life right.” Awareness is the first step toward more compassionate interactions.

When we stop mistaking cruelty for clarity and shame for motivation, we make room for something infinitely stronger: empathy. Caregiving—whether for a loved one, a patient, or a friend—teaches us that understanding, patience, and compassion are the work. They are the way we honor the full complexity of human life.